Prank ideas?

I'd like to pull off some sort of legal, PG rated prank. Any ideas?

Should my wife get plastic surgery?

I wanted to do something really special for my wife on her 30th birthday, so I bought her plastic surgery. The doctor suggested some changes in her cheek bones and chin, a little less padding here, a little more there... The thing is, when I surprised her with her present, she got really mad. I mean REALLY mad. What the bleep?? I went and did something really nice for her and she got all upset about it. Besides, she could use it. She's not exactly young anymore.

Click here for the original Yahoo! Answers post.

Should I tell my wife there really is no Santa Claus?

My wife and I got married last month, on her 17th birthday. I know this sounds crazy, but my in-laws did whole Santa thing and they just never told her it's not real and she never figured it out. I found out about it over the weekend and they want me to keep it a secret. They think it's funny, but I think it's kind of weird. I don't want to spoil the joke, but, really, isn't this a bit extreme?

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How do I know if my cat is dead or just hibernating?

I live alone. My sister bought me a cat to keep me company. His name is Winkels. Winkels is an orange tabby. Winkels has spent the last two weeks curled up in the corner of my patio. We've had freezing temperatures up here since the night Winkels first curled up, so I think he may just be hibernating for the early winter. How long do cats hibernate? Is it okay to try to wake him up or should I just let him stay down for the winter?

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Can I get a list of the Dalai Lama's stuff?

When Tibet searches for the reborn Dalai Lama, they generally put a lot of the old Dalai's stuff around a baby, and, if the baby is interested in his stuff, they assume the baby is the reborn Dalai Lama. The catch is that China has recently outlawed the Dalai Lama from reincarnating, so, to keep legal, he'll have to be reborn outside Chinese jurisdiction.

The current Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, is getting pretty old. I was thinking that if my wife and I have another kid, he could be the Dalai Lama. (Wouldn't an American Dalai be so cool?!)

I want to test the boy, but I need the stuff. Can anyone provide descriptions of Tenzin's stuff? I'd hate to think I was raising the Dalai Lama and not know it.

Thanks!

Click here for the question in Yahoo! Answers.

Al Gore?

Al Gore?

Can I promote thinking skills in the womb?

My wife and I are thrilled that we are expecting our first baby girl. She is due in mid-January. Both my wife's family and mine have a long history of excellence in math and science. How can we best start teaching our baby girl even now while she's still in the womb? Currently:

- My wife eats a diet high in fish proteins to promote brain development.
- We play various types of classical music at her tummy for two to three hours per day to promote higher thinking skills.
- My wife has been reading classic texts, such as the Feynman lectures on quantum mechanics, to her tummy.
- We have purchased a professional flash bulb to powers of two at her tummy in hopes that the photons that make it into the womb will stimulate the baby to understand geometric progressions.

Any other ideas? Thanks!!!

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Click here for the link on Yahoo Answers.

Obnoxious coworker

Help! What should I do with this coworker of mine?

There's this coworker at work who is really obnoxious. When we're on a crowded elevator, he'll pass gas on purpose. If he can't pass gas, he'll make a sound with his lips like someone just passed gas.

If we go out for lunch he does the same thing. On the way out of the restaurant he'll casually get close to someone else's table with his back turned to them and then pass gas as loud as he can. Then he just keeps on moving like nothing happened!

He does the same thing in the office cubes too, but he always does it in someone else's. Sometimes he just wonders around the office until he finds a cube with the normal occupant off in a meeting or somewhere. He'll sneak into the cube and make a farting sound and then sneak out. This leaves the impression to many of the coworkers that it was the other person!

I and everybody else on my team are getting tired of this.

• 12 minutes ago
• - 3 days left to answer.

Additional Details

2 minutes ago

I've already talked to my boss about this. This guy is bullet proof or something. Nothing sticks to him.

here's the link

Church Offering Sports Scholarships

I just heard about a mega-church, Fellowship North Atlanta, that has totally gone over the line. They are offering "scholarships" for players on their sports teams. No, they are not offering any special standing in heaven or anything like that, but they are offering discounts on giving for members with exceptional sports talent who play on their church teams against other churches.

It works like this. I'm a really talented baseball player. Fellowship North Atlanta sends a recruiter to my local park on game night and notices my talent. If I join their church team to play against other churches they'll not only give me a special Sunday morning parking spot and my own reserved pew seat, but they'll also give me tax receipts for playing on their team equal to the estimated value of my "contribution of talent" to their church.

Is it just me, or have mega-churches gotten a little too mega?

Should I forgive my wife

Have fun! Should I forgive my wife

One lady suggested a compromise, that I get home from the bar at 12:00 am instead of 1:00 am.

Look and see how riled up some of these women got!

Should I date a girl with a missing finger?

Here's a recent chain-yanking posting on Yahoo Answers [link]:

The Question

I hooked up with a girl from an internet dating site. When we met I saw that she's missing a finger. She never told me about it before we met. She never mentioned it on our date, but it's all I could think about. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with loosing a finger, but why didn't she talk about it? You'd think she should explain something like that! She's really nice and she's cute and I think she'd make a great wife some day, but I'm a little spooked about the finger thing. Should I ask her out again? I feel weird about asking, but maybe I should just call her and explain why I couldn't stop staring at her hand?

Additional Details

Oh, yea. I should have said this before. I was up late last night because I couldn't stop thinking how weird it was. Then I realized that it was her left ring finger! That's probably a really bad omen...

Okay. You guys are probably right. It's silly for me to fret so much over a missing digit. There is one thing that I haven't figured out yet. Can I still hold her hand? If so, should I thread my fingers through her fingers or just go palm-to-palm? Do you think her missing finger would hurt if I were to give her hand a squeeze?

Zig, your answer has me really freaked out. What if it's a genetic defect? I don't want my kids turning out like The Simpsons.

Best Answer

Was your online relationship straight email or did you im with her?

If you were IMing with her, did you notice anything about her typing skills? Maybe a suttle mistroking or something like that?

I agree with you, it is somewhat odd that she never brought this up. If I were you, I would start pressing her to reveal how she lost it. Maybe the reason why she didn't fully disclose is not because she's insecure about it but maybe she was performing some kind of questionable or illegal activity when she lost it.

Every person is a mystery.

------------------------------...


Dude, I just checked back with you and read your additional details. If indeed it is her ring finger then if I were you I would get away from her ASAP! Does she have your address and telephone number? Hopefully you were smart and did not pass that out to someone you met on the internet.

There's a high probability that she's part of a feminist cult called Order of Venus, or something like that. I've heard that in this cult, to be initiated into the higher circles you must cut off your ring finger. Members of this cult are VERY anti man and do internet recruiting to find their victims.

This was on the drudgereport a few weeks ago!

Asker's Rating:
I called the chick and it turns out that I was mistaken. All of her fingers were accounted for after all. I must have miscounted. Now I feel pretty silly.