Prank ideas?

I'd like to pull off some sort of legal, PG rated prank. Any ideas?

Should my wife get plastic surgery?

I wanted to do something really special for my wife on her 30th birthday, so I bought her plastic surgery. The doctor suggested some changes in her cheek bones and chin, a little less padding here, a little more there... The thing is, when I surprised her with her present, she got really mad. I mean REALLY mad. What the bleep?? I went and did something really nice for her and she got all upset about it. Besides, she could use it. She's not exactly young anymore.

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Should I tell my wife there really is no Santa Claus?

My wife and I got married last month, on her 17th birthday. I know this sounds crazy, but my in-laws did whole Santa thing and they just never told her it's not real and she never figured it out. I found out about it over the weekend and they want me to keep it a secret. They think it's funny, but I think it's kind of weird. I don't want to spoil the joke, but, really, isn't this a bit extreme?

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How do I know if my cat is dead or just hibernating?

I live alone. My sister bought me a cat to keep me company. His name is Winkels. Winkels is an orange tabby. Winkels has spent the last two weeks curled up in the corner of my patio. We've had freezing temperatures up here since the night Winkels first curled up, so I think he may just be hibernating for the early winter. How long do cats hibernate? Is it okay to try to wake him up or should I just let him stay down for the winter?

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Can I get a list of the Dalai Lama's stuff?

When Tibet searches for the reborn Dalai Lama, they generally put a lot of the old Dalai's stuff around a baby, and, if the baby is interested in his stuff, they assume the baby is the reborn Dalai Lama. The catch is that China has recently outlawed the Dalai Lama from reincarnating, so, to keep legal, he'll have to be reborn outside Chinese jurisdiction.

The current Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, is getting pretty old. I was thinking that if my wife and I have another kid, he could be the Dalai Lama. (Wouldn't an American Dalai be so cool?!)

I want to test the boy, but I need the stuff. Can anyone provide descriptions of Tenzin's stuff? I'd hate to think I was raising the Dalai Lama and not know it.

Thanks!

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Al Gore?

Al Gore?

Can I promote thinking skills in the womb?

My wife and I are thrilled that we are expecting our first baby girl. She is due in mid-January. Both my wife's family and mine have a long history of excellence in math and science. How can we best start teaching our baby girl even now while she's still in the womb? Currently:

- My wife eats a diet high in fish proteins to promote brain development.
- We play various types of classical music at her tummy for two to three hours per day to promote higher thinking skills.
- My wife has been reading classic texts, such as the Feynman lectures on quantum mechanics, to her tummy.
- We have purchased a professional flash bulb to powers of two at her tummy in hopes that the photons that make it into the womb will stimulate the baby to understand geometric progressions.

Any other ideas? Thanks!!!

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